2 April 2016

Hafiz Adewuyi

Kings' breakfast at Sao Cafe, Lekki

Today has started on a really great note. I feel accomplished for the weekend already, howbeit that I won't be lounging in bed for the rest of it.

I started off the day with a 30-minute run which took me through a lap (back-and-forth)  of Lekki-Ikoyi bridge and through Admiralty way. Like I told my new bestie (response was an eye-roll), I'm really starting to get a drift of this running thing. Saturday, 16th April 2016 will be the first day when I will complete two unbroken laps of running through the Lekki-Ikoyi bridge. I'm not worried, knowing that Guettapen music is ever ready to be my anesthetic workout buddy. Hopefully, I escape with no injuries.

After the run, I headed home, cleaned-up and headed straight out for Prince Adelowo Adedeji street, Lekki Ph 1 in my rumpled shirt. I digress, but: "Are there some things I should give more of a f**k about; like what first impression wearing a rumpled shirt will give most people of me"?

Yes, that up there is the location of Sao Cafe, Lekki. Coincidentally, this street was a U-turn point for my morning run, so it was super easy to find. The venue had no huge sign outside the building, so I drove past a little before seeing it. And only because I was looking intently.

Highlife Church, Lagos is the only church which I currently identify with and worship at from time to time. More, or less, my church. And the Kings' breakfast is a men's fellowship, designed to allow adult male members come together in a casual setting to learn and discuss how they can apply godly principles in their day-to-day life activities.

The theme of the breakfast was "Finding your strength as a man". Pastor Carlton started the session with an introduction and then went into sharing four biblical approaches by which a man can find/regain his strength:

- Pray to God for strength; even Jesus prayed;
- Speak up, let people feel the full weight of your individuality;
- Meditate. This will help you explore yourself and sink into it to find your strength within;
- Actively fight and avoid sin to build up strength

Thereafter, we then discussed some practical scenarios in which these methods could be applied. The approach around which most of the discussion was centered is speak up . Mainly because of the perils associated with expressing a dissenting opinion in a typical hierarchical corporate environment. The consensus of these discussions was that one should speak up when one needs to but ensure that the approach is always one that leads to the expected outcome of causing positive change, as opposed to birthing conflict that could render you jobless. Charles contributed his insight of occurrence->outcome->reaction versus occurrence->reaction->outcome - which is more natural for a man. Decide on a favorable outcome, then react in a way that is most likely to produce the desired outcome.

The final part of the meeting, which commenced after the discussions on Pastor's teaching, was themed "Estate planning". A Doctor of Law was brought in to enlighten the men on the importance of this delicate subject. A lot of the men had specific questions about this, mostly around how important it is for a man to have a legally recognized Will before passing away, in the Nigerian clime. If there's one thing I left with, it's that you must have a Will if you want guarantee that your assets will be distributed according to your wishes when you're gone. In the absence of a will, beneficiaries of a deceased might be required to obtain a "Letter of administration" from the court of law, before they can access its assets. And according to the visiting Doctor of Law, this can take year after year of waddling through frustrating bureaucracy, you might be tempted to just let go. And then, the government and court get to keep their percentage of the assets known as "Cost of administration"?

At the end of the day, I left knowing that a lot of value has been added to me. Considering that I often leave most events feeling drained and like I could have spent my time better, this is actually significant. I believe one factor that made this meeting as impactful as it was, was the involvement of several accomplished and insightful men. So impacted was I, that I just felt like I needed to return to church once again. I felt like I'd surely be missing out on a lot to spend my Sunday on some more 'productive' activity (like I'd done for the past few weeks), rather than go to church.

The breakfast holds once a month and you sure bet I'd be at the next one. If you like what you've read and you feel like this is a gathering you might want to be in sometime, you're not mistaken. Simply get across to me and I will invite you for the next meeting. It's open to everyone; not just members, so long as you tag along with someone. Of course, as responsible men, each attendant is usually required to pay a small token that goes towards the nice food that makes the breakfast, a real breakfast :)

Yes; the food. You know how they always keep the food till the end of the typical Nigerian event. Exactly! The food was good, you know. That kinda complete and well-packaged breakfast you would like to have every morning and that costs five times as much as the one your mother might make just as well. The balance of protein and carbs on my plate was rather unconventional for me. On my plate, four thin and small slices of bread were laid beside scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon and baked beans. I consumed all of the bread in three mouthfuls, and stopped myself short of asking my neighbor if he could use some help with his. In the end, I had to eat my egg and baked beans like one would typically eat rice and stew.

I ate bacon, and only realized what it was after I had eaten it halfway. I actually stopped to ask my neighbor, because it tasted nothing like anything I'd had before. Hearing 'bacon' was sort of a relief though, because I had feared it was fish, which might have meant me reflexively sending all of that nice food back out through the way it came in.

Oh, I also got away with enough experience to distinguish between poached, scrambled and sunny-side eggs. Oh, who knew there were so many ways to prepare a simple egg for its journey to eternal life.

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