26 February 2016

Hafiz Adewuyi

Tipsy writing

So the only reason I'm writing right now is to see how my writing when I'm full of alcohol will differ from my writing on a normal day. It's the last Friday of the month and this is when my division at work holds its monthly birthday party.

Initially, on joining the party which resumed by 6 p.m., just an hour after work (not like anybody ever closes at 5 p.m. anyway), I had zero intentions of taking any alcohol. However, there was this naughty colleague of mine called Oge that coaxed me into taking alcohol. Apparently, she had some interest in getting me drunk, and as for me, I did not have any particularly high barrier set up against drinking anyway. So, off I went. I had some vodka and some other brownish alcoholic drink. Meh, I did not even care to check what it's called.

Oh my. I think it's cool to experience tipsiness once in a while, even if you do not particularly like alcohol which is the case for me. I felt free to approach a few people whom I had questions for, and not for one second did I even ponder how a rejection from them would make me feel. Also, I'm currently pondering on how I went from thinking what people thought of my awkward looking dance moves to just moving to the beat with no thought. After getting tipsy, it 's not like I got impressive dance steps all of a sudden. But anyway, I just did not give two fucks and proceeded to move by body in the way it has the capacity to move. I'm considering lobbying my way to having them play my kinda dopey music on the next birthday party. I'd better get to that soon if I want to see anything happen.

I feel really good though. Right now, I do not give much of a damn about anyone or anything, Although, I can still recall that I am not meant to give out any sensitive information about my work; hehe. But I can pretty much approach anyone with very little inhibition.

Oh man. I dunno, but it really feels great to be tipsy. It helps you lose a lot of your inhibition. It helps you see things in a hell of a different way. People do not feel as threatening or as judgmental as they usual do. That didn't stop one oga madam from refusing to answer one question I had anyway. But I didn't feel bad about it anyway. I'll just postpone the question to Monday.

Try it sometime, if you've never had any alcohol, just for the experience. Hopefully, you do not cross tipsy-land to getting absolutely drunk. Drunk, as in sleeping in the gutter drunk. Hahaha. You know, I'm wondering if this is what being an extrovert feels like on a normal day. Perhaps, it is.

THEORY: INTROVERT (e.g. Hafiz) + tipsy = (Artificial) Extrovert

It's been a great week at work. I just completed a project at work and my colleagues are pretty much happy with me. It feels great and I wish things could always be like this.

Well, mr. Alcohol. You can look back on this blog post anytime and be absolutely proud of yourself for producing this amazing post. One day, I know, I will look back on this and smile.

For a conclusion, I don't think I will actually ever get myself absolutely drunk. I'm pretty self-controlled and whenever I reach that point where I've lost most of my inhibition, I just drop the cup.You know, it's like throwing in the towel. OH WOW. I'm so impressed I remembered this idiom. I deserve a crown; hahaha.

Sorry for my rudeness, but tipsy people do not have any rules. So even though the last paragraph says it's a conclusion. Oh well. We could as well rewrite the dictionary to have conclusion mean something like semi-conclusion. Lol. Now, that's funny, even if your stupid bitch-ass will not acknowledge it. You're tipsy too, yeah? I saw you at the partayyy!!!

I think I should just stop here. It's been amazing writing a post when a lot of your natural inhibition has been stripped away. Trust me though, there's still a lot that has not escaped my titanium wall of inhibition. If this post shocks you, you ain't heard anything sweety.

Award: I will send 500 naira airtime to the first person to point out a grammatical blooper in this blog post. 500 naira per blooper. Here's your chance, grab it. (Secret: I proof-read this). Let the games begin!!! Just explain the blooper and post the phone number where you would have me send your airtime too. Take advantage of a tispy (how does this differ from drunk?) Hafiz; you're absolutely welcome baby!

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Aniebiet
AUTHOR
27 February 2016 at 12:39 delete

Meh, I did not even care to check what it's called.
--Should be
---Meh, I did not even care to check what it was called.
Now can I have my #500 please

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27 February 2016 at 12:52 delete

Haha, Mr Willie. Your correction is not in order.

The only reason I would have needed to use 'it was' is if the name of the drink had changed from between the time I was at the party and the time I wrote this down, i.e. if I'd been intentionally referencing a historical name of the drink; which is not the case here.

Besides, we can safely assume that the drink is still called the same thing, even up to today :)

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