27 April 2014

Hafiz Adewuyi

FIVE CATEGORIES OF EVERYDAY PEOPLE I INSTINCTIVELY WANT TO SMACK SQUARE IN THE FACE

1. Drivers without a hooting etiquette (in residential areas). These ones rest their hands on the horn of their vehicle, unleashing a hoot of terror into their immediate surroundings, to the startle and disgust of not only the target, but other people in the vicinity. A more reasonable way of alerting someone of your presence would be short span and frequent hoots. Alas, my city is full of nuts drivers who have absolutely no regard for other road users.

Confession: *Loud noise really terrifies me*.

2. People, who with absolutely no thought or care, throw junk onto the road or (already filthy) open gutters. Many literate people I know do this as well, and their excuse when I scold?: "The roads/gutters are already dirty; how much worse would this one make it"

3. People at workplaces, who bump into your seat, totally jolting you out of your work; and worse still, show no sign that they are aware they just irked you. Most workplaces I've been to in this city (Lagos) are designed with little consideration of a person's need of some personal space. That's a given. But it doesn't take too much to let someone know you'll be bumping into their seat or pushing it forward before you go on to do it. Show some respect, or I smack you in the middle of the head next time *i wish*.

4. People with no footpath ethics; who if they manage to use a mere fraction of their available reasoning capacity, would realize they could have prevented a collision, merely by deflecting their zombie bodies a bit, just as you did.

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5. Business owners/ sales persons who show absolutely no gratitude or courtesy in their relations with customers. Many a time, I have slowly turned away from a sales person, who also owns the business, with a faint hope of being complimented for my patronage. Many a time (say 99.9%), my hope is shattered. Instead of being grateful for your patronage, most times, they do all but beat you up for not coming in with change. My city is full of frustrated people; this is just what I can think of in times like this when I am the victim customer.

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Am I a tad too sensitive?

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