26 January 2013

Hafiz Adewuyi

A Close Call


Here I was this morning, prancing around my apartment, clad in nothing. It’s pretty normal for me to be like that when I happen to be the only one at home, preparing for a bath.  At that instant, I happened to be in the reception area of the flat. I’d been sorting the week’s dirty laundry, when I heard a sound that seemed to come from the staircase leading directly into the reception. My mind told me it couldn't be true even as I was about to enter panic mode. After all, I was the only one in the house? 


I moved closer, still wearing only my skin, to the door atop the staircase to investigate. At this point, I recognized the sound: the one produced when you ruffle a plastic (nylon) bag. The sound grew louder, an indication that its source was approaching me. My acumen kicked in and it did not take me long to have a full grasp of what was happening. The realization was so creepy that I responded with an immediacy that shocked even me. I slammed the staircase-reception door shut and spun around, as my agitated mind searched for the quickest way to conceal its bare carrier. Soon, I was in the nearest bedroom, wrapping myself in the towel which was spread over the door as I breathed a sigh of relief. I thought about how lucky I was as things could easily have turned out quite differently.


Half an hour before the just described moments, I had just arrived home from the previous day’s work. I had bought two bags of potable sachet (pure) water and as my hands were full, I could not take them with me on my first journey up. So, I had left the bags at the entrance below the staircase, deciding to return for them as soon as I’d dropped my backpack. However, me being the who that I am, I soon got so involved in my chores that I quickly forgot about the bags of water and the entrance door which I had left ajar.


Of late, two nice kids whom I have for neighbors have indeed been very helpful. Almost every day of this week, they would come running for me as soon as I returned from work, struggling with each other over who would carry which of my backpack and pair of shoes. Thus, on my investigation, I didn't even need to hear their voices to decipher who it was walking up my staircase, generating that familiar noise. They had probably been passing by the entrance when they saw my water and mused, “This bro. probably could use some help with these”.


I’m so thankful that the circumstances had been just as they were at that time. What if I had had a headset on, or I had been in another room of the house and just walked in on the babies in the reception, oblivious and unclothed.  It would indeed have been quite embarrassing on my part and probably, some form of child abuse, considering that a 10-year old girl and an 8-year old boy just should not discover what a mature man looks like without clothes in this way. 


Even now as I write, I wonder what impacts such a vulgar encounter would have had on them. Would it have changed their perspective on me completely? Would they always have imagined me unclad whenever we crossed paths from then on? I’m glad I have no compulsion to try to determine the answer to these questions because I was almost, but not quite caught butt-naked.

Can somebody help me shout alleluia?
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21 January 2013

Hafiz Adewuyi

The Sunscreen Song


The Sunscreen song is one of the best and valuable songs I have ever heard. It's a song you want to listen to in the times when you're feeling:
i. Down, Depressed or Worthless ;
ii. Discontent with  the state of things in your life;
iii. Envious when your mate(s) seems to have achieved feats you can only dream of...

It helps you regain balance emotionally mainly by reminding you of some truths that your mind would likely not remember in an agitated state. The song also helps you (especially if you're young) catch a glimpse of how you'll probably see the world when you're much older. 

Enough said; here and now, I present to you, the magnificent SUNSCREEN SONG. Take it all in: 


THE SUNSCREEN SONG

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be… it.

The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists
Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering  experience…  I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh never-mind; You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….

You’re not as fat as you imagine!

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you!

Sing

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters; throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…

What ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own…

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents; you never know when they’ll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few, you should hold on.

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard;
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders!

Don’t expect anyone else to support you.

Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me………… on the sunscreen…


P.S.: Here's a reward for those who read the poem song till the end:


You can listen to the sunscreen song right here.


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